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Writer's pictureDr. Tony Ferretti

Inevitable Change



We all recognize that changes in life are unavoidable, but why do some adapt while others struggle through change? With the new year upon us, we can count on changes in our lives whether it relates to tax changes, business changes, health issues, financial struggles, family conflicts and/or relationship problems. Some of us resist change and fight to keep the status quo even when we know that is impossible. Change is difficult for all of us, especially when it is not self-imposed. For example, it's easier to accept a certain level of crankiness when you've started a weight reduction or exercise program, but adjusting to new laws/rules imposed by the government can be harder to swallow. Resistance to change can create increased irriatbility and anger which is not good for the people around you. Sometimes people prefer to live in denial and ignore the changes going on around them. We are not always going to agree with the choices that are made by others even when they indirectly impact us, but we can choose to accept rather than resist the change. Life is filled with expected and unexpected changes, but how we respond determines the magnitude of the outcome. How resilient are you when it comes to change?


We tend to be creatures of habit and prefer to be in control of all life changes, but this is an unrealistic expectation. Change can be good or bad, but our level of adaptability can impact our reaction. My wife and I recently became empty nesters and while some might welcome this change, others might mourn the loss and stay stuck on the past. One of the positive solutions to change is being able to find the silver lining and focus on the benefits. Sometimes it helps to decide what is within your control and out of your control. Develop a game plan for things we have control of and let go of the rest. Our attitude can also play a big part in our ability to cope successfully with change. Sometimes the changes are overwhelming and incredibly difficult to accept, like the loss of a loved one, a job loss, physical limitations, or a relationship break-up. It's easy for others to say get over it or let it go, but we may need some time to grieve and work towards acceptance. Our grieving can be painful, filled with anger, hurt, depression, anxiety, and fear. We can write about, talk about it, or pray about it, but be sure to express the feelings in some way.


We've established that no one can avoid change, but we also determined that our approach to change impacts the outcome. When we are going through a difficult time it helps to surround ourselves with people who love and care about us. Leaning on our faith and selectively sharing our struggles with others can be comforting. For me, exercise is my go-to when I'm stressing out about life changes. Also reaching out to friends and family to express our burdens, even if they can't help resolve the problems, can provide some relief. Identifying our strengths and blessings can help put things in perspective and keep us from completely falling off the rails. Life can be incredibly difficult at times, but relying on our relationships can produce a different response. Remember when we persevere through change it strengthens our character and increases our resilience. We might not be able to embrace change, but accepting change will move the healing process forward and enhance our adaptability. We all recognize that changes in life are unavoidable, but why do some adapt while others struggle through change? With the new year upon us, we can count on changes in our lives whether it relates to tax changes, business changes, health issues, financial struggles, family conflicts and/or relationship problems. Some of us resist change and fight to keep the status quo even when we know that is impossible. Change is difficult for all of us, especially when it is not self-imposed. For example, it's easier to accept a certain level of crankiness when you've started a weight reduction or exercise program, but adjusting to new laws/rules imposed by the government can be harder to swallow. Resistance to change can create increased irritability and anger which is not good for the people around you. Sometimes people prefer to live in denial and ignore the changes going on around them. We are not always going to agree with the choices that are made by others even when they indirectly impact us, but we can choose to accept rather than resist the change. Life is filled with expected and unexpected changes, but how we respond determines the magnitude of the outcome. How resilient are you when it comes to change?


We tend to be creatures of habit and prefer to be in control of all life changes, but this is an unrealistic expectation. Change can be good or bad, but our level of adaptability can impact our reaction. My wife and I recently became empty nesters and while some might welcome this change, others might mourn the loss and stay stuck on the past. One of the positive solutions to change is being able to find the silver lining and focus on the benefits. Sometimes it helps to decide what is within your control and out of your control. Develop a game plan for things we have control of and let go of the rest. Our attitude can also play a big part in our ability to cope successfully with change. Sometimes the changes are overwhelming and incredibly difficult to accept, like the loss of a loved one, a job loss, physical limitations, or a relationship break-up. It's easy for others to say get over it or let it go, but we may need some time to grieve and work towards acceptance. Our grieving can be painful, filled with anger, hurt, depression, anxiety, and fear. We can write about it, talk it out, or pray about it, but be sure to express the feelings in some way.


We've established that no one can avoid change, but we also determined that our approach to change impacts the outcome. When we are going through a difficult time it helps to surround ourselves with people who love and care about us. Leaning on our faith and selectively sharing our struggles with others can be comforting. For me, exercise is my go-to when I'm stressing out about life changes. Also reaching out to friends and family to express our burdens, even if they can't help resolve the problems, can provide some relief. Identifying our strengths and blessings can help put things in perspective and keep us from completely falling off the rails. Life can be incredibly difficult at times, but relying on our relationships can prove helpful. Remember when we persevere through change it strengthens our character and increases our resilience. We might not be able to embrace change, but accepting change will move the healing process forward and enhance our adaptability.

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